Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
