Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
