you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So many bounce houses so little time
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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