I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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