Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I forget how to act sober
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
