He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
