I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
