It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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