I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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