Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize