...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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