You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Verdict: uncircumcised.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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