just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
