i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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