I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize