Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
