how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
