That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
