I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
