Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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