what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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