you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
