okay pat passed out under dana's car
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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