Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize