They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
