Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
