I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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