I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
