Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
