Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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