i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize