the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The power of my boobs compel you
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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