marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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