Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize