i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
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i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
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Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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