why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize