Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize