Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
