Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize