we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
