so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
