Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
