Nicole vs. Life
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
