She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
