Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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