If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
