I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
