ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
