Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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