saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
