why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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