hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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