if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
