Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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