remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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