i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
