Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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